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Who gave my emotions the remote control?

My coaching superpowers were in TURBO mode the past few weeks.


I quickly became part of a real-life adventuring party taking on a campaign full of unimaginably painful circumstances for everyone involved.


This campaign was full of side quests that created anger, frustration, sadness, fear, and so much more for all of us at varying times.


Of course, there were also a LOT of laughs and awful jokes.


Here are a couple of ways I helped us through those rough emotional side quests.


First, an important note.​This stuff can be exhausting! You know how much battery you have left. If you don't have enough to do this, it is ok! Take care of yourself so you can show up for others the way you want to.


I See You


See the person and HOW/WHAT they are feeling rather than trying to "fix things".


Yeah, it would be a lot easier to not be with that rough emotion. It is likely not helpful though.


Acknowledging what they are feeling and being with it with them will validate the person's experience and help them (and likely you) to process it.


When you try to quickly fix or move past it, you are just tucking it away for a future moment.


It is ok to feel it all, even if it is full of anger or snotty cries.


If you notice the emotions have taken control of them, then it may be time to try something else.


Stopping Runaway Emotions

Imagine yourself in a car with your emotions.


Sometimes, your emotions are in the passenger seat. Sometimes, they are in the back seat. Sometimes, they are in the trunk.


Sometimes, they are behind the wheel and blasting 'MMMBop' on full volume.


When they are behind the wheel, I want you to be able to quickly and safely pull that car over and get back behind the wheel.


Here's how:

1) Use the safeword to call everyone to attention Pick a fun safeword - bonus points if it makes you laugh.


2) Say "Let's do a couple of breaths"

Breathe in deep through the nose, hold, then breathe out through the mouth. Everyone does this together.


You say a couple, but it really is 3-5 times. You'll know when it's enough.


3) Ask: What are you feeling now?

From there, it is all about listening. NOT about fixing.


Bonus tip: If the person is comfortable with it, touch can be extra helpful here.

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