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I only invest in coaches who make me super pissed off at them once per session. Yep! I pay people to make me mad.
Here’s what triggers my eyerolls:
Asking me the question I was hoping they wouldn’t ask.
Reminding me of my own words.
Making it impossible for me to ignore what I’ve been avoiding.
Asking me how I would coach myself.
Catching the thing I let slip out and was really hoping they didn’t hear.
Those things that get my eyes a rollin' are exactly what I am paying a coach for. I also LOVE pissing my clients off.
When I see that eye roll, the brow furrow, or the slam back in their chair I know I just did my damn job.
My clients and I often laugh together after I piss them off.
They knew when they used the word can’t or should that I was going to say “Take a breath and try that again.”
They knew that when their body and tone didn’t match the words they said, I was going to ask them “What’s going on right now?”
They knew that when they said they were going to do something, I was going to ask “When?“
What the good kind of pissed off feels like
I don’t want you pissed off because someone did you harm. We are talking about the good kind of pissed off.
It’s the feeling when you KNOW the person is right.
There are some questions I get asked and am instantly nauseous because they hit exactly the area that was in my blind spot. The most notable question like that was “What does living that life cost you?” To this day I still feel it in my stomach.
Take a moment and think about what the good kind of pissed off feels like for you.
Ways to tell if a coach will piss you off
Most coaches offer a free call so you can have a no-commitment conversation to determine if you are a fit for each other. I would never invest in a coach before having a 1:1 call with them. Even those with the shiniest referrals.
Fearless Check It is super important that you have a coach you can be FEARLESS with.
Ask yourself: Could I trust them enough to tell them things I’ve never told anyone? If not, consider saying this to the coach on the call and see how they handle it. I know that may be scary, but this is your chance to be FEARLESS and see what they do.
If that question is difficult, answer this: On a scale of 1-10, how fearless can you be with them?”
Your coach needs to be able to be FEARLESS with you, too! They have to be willing to piss you off and not hold back in a way that you are comfortable with.
I recommend being honest with them about that. Tell them what you need from them. You can ask “On a scale of 1-10, how fearless can you be with me?”
Talk about what you’re avoiding You already know one thing that you are avoiding.
Don’t start rolling your eyes at me or say “Autumn, I DON’T!!!!” I know you have at least one.
Bring that one thing to the conversation with the coach. Tell them straight up: “I am avoiding X.”
Do they lean in or do they note it and skip past it?
There’s no way a fearless coach who’s going to piss you off will skip past that unless you are completely out of time. Don’t wait until the last minutes to do this!
Wanna put me to the test? Email me (firstname.lastname@example.org) and we will get a free coaching session scheduled. I promise there will be NO SALES pitch. It will just be you, me, and some eyerolls.