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A Thank You letter to my tumor

You’ve heard about my mom & dad. Now you are going to see the power of my Grandmother ‘Nany’.


She is the inspiration for my most-used Inner Entourage Member: The Appreciator


When I channel The Appreciator, I have the ability to see the good in even the worst of things.


The Appreciator has helped me see that:

  • My toxic workplace experience helped me prioritize myself which led to me doing the work that makes my heart sing.

  • The pandemic made my relationship with my husband even better. There is a LOT more laughter and play…and squishmallows.

  • Each experience I have is an opportunity to learn and helps me help others even more.


And, in this moment, she is going to help me write a Thank You letter to the tumor in my breast, named Circe.


On Monday, we’re separating. She’s going to be put through some tests. And then she will die.


Before we get to that, here’s a quick way you can tap into YOUR Appreciator:

Important Note: There are times you may not be ready to appreciate a situation. That is ok. Trust your intuition and wait until it feels right and safe. Message me if you need help with this.

  1. Take 3 deep breaths.

  2. Tell yourself it is ok to be with the appreciator. Acknowledge that it may be uncomfortable (see the Important Note above)

  3. Ask yourself: What is one thing I can appreciate about this? Even if it is .000001% of the thing.

  4. Ask yourself: What is one thing I am learning from this?

  5. Acknowledge the work you just did.

  6. Take 3 deep breaths.


Ok, here’s the letter.

This letter is being written in one draft as I would any pen on paper thank you letter. I’m not editing it.


Hey Circe!


Monday is a big day for both of us. It is the end for you and the start for me. Before you go, I want to be sure you know the impact you’ve had on me.

We’re not getting into the obvious things. Neither of us need those listed out. I don’t want to list those out.


I want you to know I love you.


A lot of people don’t. I know you’ve heard Jordan tell you to go away. I didn’t ask you to be here. But you are and you are leaving me with so many gifts.


Thank you.


Over these past 45 days I have learned and experienced so much.


I got to witness how incredibly strong I am. OMG I am so f’n strong. It surprised me. I am really proud of myself.


I experienced so much love from my village. It was beautiful. I am so happy with the village I have built around me.


I had a crash course in advocating for myself and got to ask my loved ones to do it to. We all agreed to be fully honest with how we are feeling and what we needed, even if it was hard to share or ask. It was a huge gift to never have to worry about how my loved ones felt. I never want that to change.


I got to show my mom and dad the gifts they have given me and the impact that has on others. I am so happy I got this chance to do that.


I got SO many Jordan hugs. You know how much I love hugs. It has been AWESOME!!!


I committed to being my fun and silly self and show others that it is OK to approach things your own way. I really loved having a good reason to get people to say “Tit” a bunch on LinkedIn and calls. Ha!! Thanks for letting me call you the Wicked Tit of the West.


The treatment I will go through after you are gone is the spark I needed to build in some great habits so I can have fun with Jordan for many, many decades to come. I know he is really happy about that. I am too.


Telling our story will help save a lot of lives. I now have a great example to share of why people need to get their bouncy bits, moles, and holes checked. I mean…you showed up in my 1st Mammogram. If you were going to show up, that’s the one that will get people setting those appointments. Thank you on their behalf.


Finally, you helped me see how much I love my body. I have never stared at myself or cared for a part of my body as much as I have your AirBoo&B. I have taken as many moments as I can to love and appreciate her before she is altered. Thank you for showing me how far I’ve come.


Extra finally, I read that I will likely want to go bra-free during radiation and maybe even be topless when at home. OMG Yes!!! That is going to be so fun.


Seriously, Circe. Thank you. My life will never be the same because of your visit…in a good way.


I love you and wish you all the best as you transition. I hope it is painless for you.


Hugs,

Autumn

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